


Y'all needed the content...

by Seethingballofhatred



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Fluff, M/M, first fic?, i think.. lol idk, jared has 2 moms, probably OOC characters, uhh i have no idea what im doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 10:49:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11507844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seethingballofhatred/pseuds/Seethingballofhatred
Summary: Now whats bound to happen when two incredibly gay boys™ spend a lot of time with each other, laughing, playing Mario Kart and other various multiplayer games, and just havin' a good time?





	1. getting together

 

“It means you should remember who your friends are!” Jared cried out, doing everything in his power to not cry.

“Am I really your friend? Or are you just using me for your car insurance?” Evan managed to stutter out, not exactly thinking about his words.

Jared froze, he can’t believe Evan anxiety-riddled Hansen is accusing him of such a thing, ”... FUCK YOU EVAN! Asshole,” Jared said as he stormed off, quickly rounding the corner as tears began to fall down his face; when he ran into someone.

“K-Kleinman? What the fuck watch where yo-” Connor stopped when he saw Jared crying, ”O-oh Kleinman? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked, though he had a basic idea as to why since he happened to be watching the little scene go down.

“N-nothing’s wrong Murphy, f-fuck off,” Jared managed to say as he furiously rubbed his eyes to wash away the tears. He only succeeded in making them irritated causing an entire onslaught of new ones- though at least these ones seemed justified, Jared thought bitterly. He moved his arms towards Connor's chest as he tried to push the taller boy away from him.

Connor quickly grabbed Jared’s shoulder, ”Yeah sure nothing’s wrong Kleinman, you’re kinda covered in fucking tears after what seemed like a pretty nasty breakup with tree boy.”

Jareds breath hitched at Connor’s statement, he was right, the argument he just had with Evan could definitely be compared to a nasty breakup. He turned to look at Connor, who seemed to look worried, which was strange when it came to Murphy; Jared was sure that his only emotion was anger, but it seems he was just proven wrong. Jared had already begun falling apart, but seeing Connor’s concern seemed to have tipped him over the edge. Jared fell to the ground, curling into himself as he tried to hide from the world while he sobbed. He had hoped Connor would walk away and leave him alone, but Connor had other plans.

Connor couldn’t leave Kleinman alone, he knew he couldn’t, he knew what it felt like to be alone and he didn’t want to just let Jared sit out here by himself. So he sat down, ”Do… do you wanna talk about it?”

Jared shook his head as the lunch bell rang, signalling that it was time to go to class. Neither of them moved. “Don’t worry, you happened to choose the perfect spot to fight with Hansen, the few guards don’t come by here, so we can just hang,” Connor shrugged and leaned against the stone wall, “I won’t make you talk, but I’m here if you want to.”

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Jared mumbled something, "Evan fucking Hansen decided that his fucking emails with you are more important than his best friend… Only friend… Ex friend." Connor could barely make out what he said.

Connor was silent for a bit as he processed Jared’s statement.

"Wait you helped him with those damn things?” Connor stood up from his position on the ground, obviously furious, his fists clench then unclench as he realises how hurt Jared is; him yelling isn't exactly the best idea, so he sits back down and tries to regain composure, “Evan has made everything with my parents worse… _They think I'm straight_ " He chuckles slightly, in his attempt to lighten the mood.

Jared smiled a bit at Connor’s joke, “Heh, yeah, sorry about that,” he managed to say, his voice hoarse, “I tired to make it gay as fuck, but Hansen didn’t let me keep it.”

“I’m sure you have your reasons for helping him, but all the blame is on that fucking tree-fucker so you don’t need to apologise.” Connor seemed to ignore Jared’s light hearted statement, choosing the serious route for their conversation.

Jared was relieved that Mr. School-shooter wasn’t blaming him for the fucked up situation, he wasn’t sure what he would do if he had to try and fight Connor while crying. “I can’t believe Hansen thought I only talked to him for car insurance,” Jared mumbled, taking the chance to properly process his fight with Evan and talk himself through things.

Connor looked up from the rock he was staring at, “Hmm? Did-? Did I hear you right? ‘Cause it sounded like you think Evan thought you were taking advantage of him?”

“Yup,” Jared sighed, sinking lower to the ground, wishing he would clip through it like an NPC in a Bethesda game.

“Can’t blame him though, I guess… It’s what I’ve been telling him since I got a car,” he reasoned, realising that Evan had every right to be an ass.

Connor shrugged, not exactly sure how to respond, so he just stayed quiet. Jared looked over at him, he seemed to look a bit stressed, “So Murphy, why are you sitting here when you could sneak off campus and smoke crack or whatever?”

Connor grumbled, why couldn’t Jared just accept Connor’s rare moment of kindness instead of questioning him? Though he is right, Connor could use a smoke. “Just feel like it I guess,” he sighed.

They sat in silence until the next bell rang, ”So Kleinman, I know you didn’t get any lunch… And I’d say I’m pretty tired of being here,” Connor stood up and reached out a hand to Jared, “Wanna go get something edible? Skip on the rest of the school day?”

Jared stared at Connor’s hand as he thought, he could skip, tell his moms he wasn’t feeling to hot, there was only one period left anyway which was a computer course he didn’t exactly need. So Jared grabbed Murphy’s hand and hoisted himself up, “Sure, as long as you’re paying for it.”

Connor quickly dragged Jared to the back of the school’s fence stopping in front of the gate “Connor I don’t think we can get out this way, the gates locked,” Jared said as Connor began shuffling in his bag.

“Not a problem,” Connor pulled a lockpick from his bag and began working on the gate’s lock.

Jared smirked and crossed his arms, “Heh, why am I not surprised Murphy? How often do you do this anyway?”

“Hmmm,” Connor thought as he opened the gate, ”Probably twice a week? I’m sure you’ve noticed how I’m rarely at school.”

“Oooo a bad boy,” Jared said in a teasing tone, “It’s truly a wonder how you’re single Murphy.”

“Shut it,” Connor groaned as he dragged Jared to his car.

**…**

“I thought you said we were getting something edible,” Jared muttered to Connor while they waited in line at a Wendy’s.

Connor was going to respond when they got to the front of the line, so instead of speaking to the frustrated teen, he ordered their meals, “I’ll have two large fries and a large chocolate frosty,” he paused and turned to Jared, “I never asked what you want…”

“Surprise me, I’m gonna go sit down,” Jared muttered as he walked away to find a table.

Connor followed suit after he payed, handing Jared an empty cup, “Here, not sure if you wanted a drink, but I got you one anyway; you were crying a lot earlier, don’t need you getting dehydrated.”

Jared hesitantly grabbed the cup, he wasn’t sure why Connor was being so nice, it seemed really out of character for the kid with anger issues. He shrugged it off and went to fill up his cup. After he filled his cup to the brim with Cherry Coke, he grabbed their meal since Connor’s name was called. The moment he sat down, Connor shoved a few fries in his mouth. “Jeez Murphy what’s with the hurry?”

He didn’t answer and just continued to inhale his fries, dipping the occasional one in his frosty. “Oh my god you’re one of _those_ people,” Jared complained, being in a Wendy’s was bad enough, but adding Murphy dipping fries in a frosty made this lunch unbearable.

Connor reached across the table, grabbing one of Jared’s chicken nuggets from the tray, “Hey! What are you doing?!” Jared exclaimed as Connor dug the nugget deep into his frosty, he pulled it out and it was covered in the semi-melted desert, along with a small mountain on the top.

“Don’t you dar-” Jared tried to stop Connor as he shoved the whole thing in his mouth with a cocky grin. Jared gagged at the sight, he couldn’t watch as the other boy made this already bad food even worse, “Well Murphy seems you wasted your money, as I have officially lost my appetite.”

“More for me I guess,” Connor shrugged, he really didn’t mind getting more to eat; he knew he wasn’t going home tonight, so more food the better. Connor paused for a moment, a fry sticking out of his mouth as he got an excellent idea, “Hey Kleinman, can I crash at your place for the weekend?”

Jared almost spit his mouthful of soda in Connor’s face, why did Murphy want to stay at his place? He had his own damn house, “I-I guess, though I have to ask why.”

“I don’t feel like going home, usually I go hang in the park by the school, but it gets boring after a while; figured that since you don’t hate me, I could ask,” Connor took a spoonful of his frosty as he finished his statement, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well thanks to Hansen kicking me to the curb, I happen to be in need of a gaming buddy,” Jared said as he gathered the garbage cluttering the table, “So why don’t we get out of here and play a few rounds of Halo at my place?”

Connor stood up with a forced chuckle, he wasn’t to keen on being tree boys replacement, but he was on his way to having a real friend so he couldn’t complain. He grabbed the tray now filled with trash and threw it away, Jared in toe, “Yeah sure sounds great.”

“Your car reeks of pot dude, you gotta get an air freshener in here,” Jared crinkled his nose as he got into Connor’s car.

“I do have one,” Connor gestured to a bag of weed in his center console, “one of the best, though I prefer vanilla.” Connor chuckled at his awful joke while Jared rolled his eyes.

**…**

Connor was not good at Halo at all, Jared happened to be wiping the floor with him, “Damn Murphy, I thought Evan was the worst at this but you managed to prove me wrong again.”

“Again? I don’t recall me proving you wrong before Klei- fucking hell dude will you just let me win once?!”

Jared chuckled and thought a moment, why did he say again anyway? Oh right, Connor having more emotions than just rage. “W-when we were still at school, I had been convinced you were always angry, no other emotions, though you proved that thought wrong when you seemed genuinely concerned for my wellbeing,” Jared paused, “damn that sounded..really gay.”

Connor spoke quickly, as if to change the conversation, “So I ment to ask earlier but, where are your parents? I figured at least your mom would be home.”

It was in this moment when Jared realised, Connor didn’t know his parents were lesbians, “Well, Mama is probably still working, and I think mom has her yoga class around this time.”

“Wait… Jared do you… Have two moms?” Connor looked at Jared, his face filled with curiosity.

“Yeah, what of it?” Jared said defensively, “When my parents divorced, mom married mama… It’s not that special.”

“Dude that’s awesome, it must be nice,” Connor mused, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. After a few moments he began laughing, “H-Hold up Kleinman… You call your step-mom ‘Mama’? That’s fucking hilarious.”

Jared blushed slightly, “Well it would be confusing to call them both mom! And ‘mommy’ sounds weird as hell with all that kink shit; besides, I’ll be damned if I call mama by her name, I’ve known her my whole life, it would be weird.”

“Haha whatever man,” Connor hit Jared’s arm lightly, “Got any games besides Halo?”

“Of course I do, though the only other multiplayer I have is Mario Kart and Portal 2...” Jared trailed off.

“I bet I can kick your ass in Mario Kart,” Connor’s voice was filled with confidence.

“Oh you are _on_ Murphy,” Jared said with a grin as he moved to switch out the game.

**…**

It’s been two weeks since Connor asked to hang at Jareds, and he’s been there every day, “Because Hansen is always at my place and I don’t wanna deal with him again,” claimed Murphy when Jared eventually asked.

It was Thursday night, and the boys made the wonderful decision of getting drunk. Jared was convinced he could finish Rainbow Road in first place with the worst car, playing as baby Mario, on 150cc. This was his 10th try and Connor couldn’t stop laughing at him. “J-Jare oh my god _dude_ stoppp you can-can’t do this,” he placed a hand on a concentrating Jared’s shoulder, “Just switch back t-too Waluigi!” he attempted to do a Waluigi voice but it fell apart as he was flooded with more giggles.

“Con shush I got this!” Jared exclaimed as he leaned forward, his tongue escaping his lips in deep concentration. Connor opened his eyes and placed a hand on his chest, hoping to control his breathing and to stop the flood of giggles, “I’m still sure I-I could’ve beaten it by n-now.”

Jared shushed him and leaned toward Connor along with the curve in the digital road, however he misjudged how far to lean and ended up laying in Connor’s lap. “Uhh… Jared what are you doing?” Jared didn’t move, he just continued to race, “I leaned, leaned to far, don’t feel like getting up,” Jared explained quickly, still managing to keep his concentration on the screen.

Connor stared at Kleinman, his glasses were crooked and his cheeks flush from the beers they had earlier, Connor muttered something under his breath, a quote from one of the few TV shows he watched, “You can’t catch me gay thoughts.”

“What was that Con?” Jared turned his head in Connor’s lap to look up at him.

Connor flushed more than he already was, for some reason Jared’s eyes looked really pretty in the dim light coming from the TV, “I- Uhh N-Nothin’ Kleinman, just talking to myself…”

Jared shrugged and sat up, he’ll admit that it was hard to play when the screen was sideways; though he was freaking out a bit since he _laid on Murphy’s lap._ They were silent for a bit, it was broken when Connor’s phone vibrated across the room. “You gonna get that?” Jared asked as he set up his next race.

“Huh?” Connor asked, as he was lost in thought, “Oh, my… Phone… Right,” he turned slightly to climb onto the bed from his place on the beanbag, grabbing his phone from Jared’s night stand. “Uhg, it’s just facebook, apparently Cynthia and Zo have been posting a bunch,” he unlocked his phone and began looking through his mother’s timeline, “Oh. My. God. I’m gonna fucking kill Hansen!”

Jared quickly paused his game and climbed onto the bed next to Connor, ”What? Why? What did he do?” he tried to get a look at Connor’s face, but his hair happened to be covering it.

It may have been because he was drunk, but a tear fell onto Connor’s phone screen, “I-I can't believe that Hansen basically replaced me in my family” he chuckled slightly before sniffling. He handed his phone to Jared as if to explain.

“Holy shit…” Jared mumbled as he scrolled through Cynthia’s photos. She had uploaded a full album of Evan with what he assumed was Connor’s family. Most seemed to be Evan and Zoe, but there were a few ‘selfies’ Cynthia had taken with him, and one of Evan holding a baseball glove with an older man holding a can of shaving cream.

“On the bright side, I don’t have to worry about Larry begging me to play baseball anymore.” Connor mumbled, wiping the tears from his face, he can’t believe he’s crying in front of someone; at least it’s Jared and not someone in his family.

“C-Con are you-?” Jared set the phone down, looking at the other boy with concern, ”Are you crying? Jesus, Evan… Evan can suck my ass, first he kicks me to the curb, then he invades your damn famil-”

“Whatever. Fucking- fuck why am I not even surprised, god that kid fits in with my shitty family perfectly. An ignorant mother, pestering sister, homophobic father, and a big fucking liar.” Connor pulled his knees to his chest, attempting to hide his face from Jared.  
Jared didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t sure if words were needed, so he just put a hand on Connor’s back, rubbing small circles with his thumb in attempt to comfort the crying teen.

They sat like that for a while before Connor got up, moving to the makeshift bed made on Jared’s floor, he mumbled a small “goodnight” before he covered himself in the borrowed comforter. Jared watched him with a frown, “Goodnight Con…” He would have laid down, but he had to turn his game off. So he did just that. Though when he returned to his bed he just sat there watching Connor lay still; he wasn’t sure what was going through his head, he wanted to protect Connor, give Evan a talking too, lord knows he needs it. He wanted to make sure Connor was happy, always smiling how he did every time he beat Jared in Mario Kart, or when they got a new achievement in Portal 2, he didn’t know why he wanted this, he just knew he did. Jared eventually found his way out of his thoughts, pulling the covers over himself, he heard Connor sit up and move around, he figured Con was putting his hair up how he usually did before they went to bed; with that, he fell asleep.

Jared wasn’t entirely wrong, as Connor did need to put his hair up in its usual messy night bun; though once he finished he looked at Jared in his bed, Connor knew he was still buzzed, but he had a feeling that whatever this feeling was would persist once he was sober; he definitely needed to go home tomorrow.

**…**

Jared was waiting for his mom to pick him up, he was pissed, Connor stopped talking to him after they got to school and disappeared right before lunch. His mom sounded sad when Jared said he needed a ride home and that Connor wasn’t going to be over; she had taken a liking to him, both his mothers have. Jared wondered if he had as well.

“Seems drunk Connor was right,” Connor mumbled to himself before he took another hit of his joint, blowing the smoke out slowly. He couldn’t avoid Jared forever, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with these damn emotions; he hadn’t liked someone since he was in elementary school, and he punched the kid for fucks sake. He looked to his lap, his sketchbook open in it, he stared at the portrait he was working on for a moment before grabbing his pencil from its spot in the grass to add a few more details.

He was working on the eyes of a person he usually drew, he didn’t know who this person was, he never knew who he drew, he just put together features and gave each new face a gender; he decided this one was non-binary, even though it appeared to be more masculine. He pulled his pencil away from the paper, staring at the eyes of the nameless face, “Wait a second,” he squinted his eyes as he thought, “These… Aren’t the usual eyes I draw you with,” he spoke as if the drawing was a real person who could respond. He thought the eyes looked familiar, though they had no colour to them, the shading seemed to spark something in him, “Where have I seen these eyes befor- Jared… God damnit weed you betrayed me!” he tossed the small bit he had left of his joint in frustration, “You were supposed to make me _not_ draw Jared what the hell.” He slammed his sketchbook shut, he didn’t have the heart to rip out the drawing. He pushed himself up from the ground, using the tree he was leaning against as leverage, “It’s getting late… I suppose I should go home if I want a warm dinner,” he said as he stretched.

**…**

Connor opened the door to his home, “CynthiaAAHH!!” Connor struggled to not fall over when his mother attempted to tackle him, this was new, ”Cy-mom what the-?”

“Oh Connor honey I’ve been worried! You haven’t been answering me for two weeks!”

“I-I told you I was with a friend… and that I didn’t know when I’d come home,” Connor tried to ease his mother’s worry.

“Oh I know you did! But I figured you were with Evan, so when he came over without you I got worried!”

“Mo- Evan… Wasn’t who I was with…” Connor trailed off, he could feel the anger bubbling inside him at the mention of Evan.

"Oh my god Connor do you have a friend besides Evan? That's wonderful!" Cynthia exclaimed, jumping slightly.

Connor admitted that he liked to see his mom like this, but he didn’t enjoy the reasoning for her happiness. He paused a moment to look around the room, he noticed Zoe and a fidgeting Evan on the couch. “Hansen… Isn’t my friend Cynthia,” Connor said coldly, “I’ve never really spoken to him.”

“Connor… What do you mean? Evan has showed us everything! All the emails you two have shared! You don’t have to lie to us sweetie,” Cynthia said sweetly, placing a hand on Connor’s arm.

Connor shook her off, his face filled with rage, “For once in my damn life I’m _not_ lying to you! Believe it or not Cynthia, but that perfect looking kid next to Zoe happens to be the fucking liar in this situation. He’s toying with you! You’re all wrapped around his mother fucking finger! He made it all up! I haven’t been sending this kid emails about how ‘I'm straight’, or how ‘I’m getting better!’ He’s a fucking ass who doesn’t know how to treat other fucking people!” Connor paused a moment to deal with the few tears welling in his eyes; Evan had started sweating profusely, Zoe and Cynthia turning to look at him in disbelief, “And if that isn’t bad enough for you,” Connor laughed a bit pointing toward Cynthia and moving his arm to point at Evan, “He decided to rip out my only fucking friends god damn heart,” Connor looked at Evan maliciously, with every intent to ruin Evan’s night. “Now if we are finished, I’m going to my damn room,” he pushed by Cynthia to his bedroom, slamming his door shut, causing the silent house to shake at the force.

Connor hears Evan attempt to explain over Cynthia’s sobs and Zoe yelling at Evan to leave, he chuckles slightly as he moves to his window to get a bit of fresh air. He feels his phone buzz and he pulls it out of his pocket, “Jared…” Connor mumbles, his lock screen filled with missed calls and text notifications. He hears the front door slam and he looks out the window as he unlocks his phone.

Evan is in his lawn, one hand messing with the hem of his shirt, the other furiously working on what Connor assumes is a text as he sobs. For a moment Connor feels bad, seeing a kid have a panic attack on his lawn, when he remembers all the things Evan has done, he thinks he deserves this, it’ll teach him to not fuck with people’s families anymore.

He looks back to his phone when it vibrates again, another text from Jared:

**From: Kleinmeme at 8:50pm**

**Con? Can you stop ignoring me for 5 damn seconds? At least explain why you decided to drop me.**

**From: Kleinmeme at 8:47pm**

**Damnit Murphy Fucking answer me!**

**From: Kleinmeme at 8:40pm**

**What did I do? Please tell me if I did something wrong...**

**[MISSED CALL FROM: Kleinmeme]**

Most of the texts were the same, and he didn’t bother to leave any voicemails.

Connor locked his phone screen and tossed it toward his bed with a sigh, he looked over at his closet, ”Hmmm…” he went over to it and dug out a few beers he usually kept near the air vent in his closet, he also pulled out another joint from his bag, “Lets… Have a bit of stress relief.”

Connor giggles a bit from the alcohol, he’s not drunk, but he’s definitely buzzed, “Damn if I was hangin with Jare-” he flopped onto his bed with a sigh cutting off his previous thought, “It’s too quiet without Kleinman…” He stretched and yawned for a moment, before falling asleep.

**…**

It’s Saturday morning and Jared is frustrated with Connor ignoring him. they had gotten so close, then Con decided to act like they never knew each other. He was pacing in his bedroom, trying to think of what he could’ve done wrong, or how he can fix this. His train of thought is interrupted by a small knock, “Jared hun? Are you okay? You’re pacing pretty hard in there.”

Jared jumped a bit when he heard his step-mom, “I- uhh… Yeah mama I’m fine, just thinking,” He lied slightly, hoping to ease her worry.

His lie didn’t seem to work, as she opened his door and moved to stand in front of her son; she towered over him, similar to how Connor did, her eyes met Jared’s as she put a hand on his shoulder, ”You sure? You’ve been pacing for an hour. You usually stop after twenty minutes.”

Jared shrugged her off in frustration, “Yes Mama I’m _fine_ you can go back to your movie with Mom.”

She sighed and stepped back, “O-Okay Jare, just know we’re here for you if you need to talk,” she attempts to reassure the insecure boy before she turns around and leaves the room.

Jared sighed as his step-mom shut the door, “God dammit theres gotta be something I can do,” he began pacing again, this time thinking aloud, “If only I kne- That’s it! Hah I can go to his house, make him talk to me!” Jared rushed and slid into his desk chair, opening his laptop.

**…**

Jared was nervous, he was standing in front of the door to the Murphy’s home. At least he thought it was the Murphy’s home, the school has had old records before, it’s very possible he was at the wrong house. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, a little harder than he meant to. A redheaded woman answered the door, "Oh… Well hello I don’t believe I’ve met you young man" she smiles at Jared, a warm smile, expected of a mother.

“I- Uhh, yeah, umm i-is this Connor Murphy’s house?” Jared’s anger seemed to subside for a moment, being replaced by nothing but nerves.

The woman’s face lit up at the mention of Connor, “Oh! Yes it is! You must be the friend he mentioned last night,” her smile wavered a bit, as if the previous night had bad connotations, “Are you here to see him?”

Jared smiled slightly hearing that Connor has mentioned him to his family, “Uhh yeah, If it’s not too much trouble.”

"Oh! Of course! Go right on up! His room is up the stairs and the second door on the right" Mrs. Murphy said with another large smile, moving aside to let Jared pass.

Jared doesn’t even say thank you, he just bolts to Connor's room.

Connor was still fast asleep, curled up around a pillow. His peaceful sleep was interrupted by Jared kicking his door in yelling, “CONNOR WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IGNORING ME?!"

Connor jumps awake, falling on the floor in the process, "Ja- Jared what the _FUCK_ ," Connor sits up and looks at Jared, who is standing in the doorway, "Get out of my bedroom what the hell why are you here?!? How did you find my house?!?!"

Jared invites himself in and moves over in front of Connor while speaking, "I hacked into the school’s data and found your address, and no I will not be leaving your room until I get a fucking explanation Murphy. So why are you ignoring me?"

"I… I uhh don't know what your talking about" Connor tries and fails to feign innocence.  
"Cut the crap Con, you know exactly what I'm talking about" Jared crosses his arms,frustration evident on his face.  
Connor tells him the truth, though it comes off more as a question that he's unsure about, "I just wanted some time alone?"  
"And why couldn't you have simply mentioned that you wanted some space?" Jared isn't buying whatever Connor is saying, so he decides to dig a bit, hoping to get some answers.  
Connor is silent for a moment, thinking of a response, "Didn't think about that, and after the shit that happened last night I was to mad to think straight," he scratches the back of his head, and moves to sit on his bed.

"Okay… Mind me asking what happened last night?" Jared’s eyes follow Connor as he moves, shifting his weight to one leg.  
Connor sighs and runs a hand through his hair before it slaps down on his thigh, and he lays back on his bed, "I… Exposed Hansen for lying to my family, and… I mayyyy haveyelledathimabouthurtingyoubutwhatever" he sits back up, hunching over and staring at the floor, "And then I got high and drunk."

Jared is kinda shocked, not about connor being high, or him getting angry the previous night, but that not only did he exposed Evan, but _he defended him?_

Jared is speechless, he doesn't know how to respond, he sits down by Connor, not to close but close enough that Connor sits up and stiffens, Jared gets slightly worried, that he did something wrong.

Connors thoughts: "His hand is close enough to grab… I could hold his hand…  Omg… I… Uhhh… Wait no shit what did Jared just say?"

"Sooo… Any details on last night?" Jared says, leaning back on his hands, moving them away from Connor’s easy reach.

“Evan got kicked out, my mom thought I had not only _one friend… but two_ for like… 30 seconds before I snapped about Hansen's little charade. I think he realises how much he hurt you… Even though I just said he 'basically ripped your heart out' and didn't go into details… And I had the best sleep of my life… Until you decided to break my door even more"

Jared chuckles at the last bit, he didn't even notice that Connor’s door was damaged, until he looked at it, it’s covered in cracks and the door frame is pretty beat up aswell, “Oh, uh sorry about that.”

“It’s whatever man, most of it’s from Larry, I doubt you did anything to it anyway,” Connor shrugged, "Soo… Why did Hansen do those dumb emails anyway? And why did you help him?" he turns and sits fully on the bed, cross legged to look Jared in the eyes, neither can read the other's expression very well.

"Oh, uhh well Evan… payed me to help so it's not like I agreed with his reasonings… but he started them cause your parents like came and talked to him at school about this note they found in your room-"

"I KNEW THEY CAME IN HERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION- Oh… Uh Sorry… Continue… Please…” Connor shuffles a bit, worried that him cutting off Jared may have discouraged him from talking.

“Ev kinda panicked. I guess they thought you were gonna hurt yourself or something, cause the letter he wrote, that they thought you wrote, seemed similar to a suicide note. I don’t know why they didn't talk to you about it… But since Evan panicked, he said that you guys had emailed all the time and like… Begged them to not tell you that they knew, that 'your emails were a secret' or whatever. They ate his lie up, your- your parents are pretty gullible. They wanted to see more; so he payed me, and my amazing hacking skills," he cracks his knuckles before he continues, "to help him back date emails. Not sure why they wanted to basically stalk their sons friendship… But-"

"Probably because their controlling, and are paranoid that any person I associate with is into drugs/alcohol/being gay... So I'm sure finding out Evan, the most innocent looking possibly straight kid ever, was the best thing that ever happened to them," Connor butt in coldly, easily explaining his parents motivations.

"So. How did you find out about the emails?" Jared asks before he realises what he said, but he's genuinely curious.

“Found some of them in the dining room one night. Then saw Evan having dinner with my family; though I had some suspicions when Larry asked about my sexuality, though I've been out as gay since freshman year, he said something like ,'So I thought you were gay? Why did you tell this kid you're straight? Finaly realise it was a phase?'" Connor attempted to do an impression of his father as he spoke.  
Jared flinched, not really having experienced homophobic parents though he's heard his fair share of stories, "Yeeouch…”  
"Yeah tell me about it, took all my energy to not deck him then and there… started keeping my eye on Hansen after that… I noticed he was talking to Zoe and that Alana kid more. Then you ran into me after yelling at him."  
"I… Never apologised for that did I," Jared mumbled under his breath, starting to play the events over in his head when Connor brought him back to reality.  
"No you did not, but you were a mess Kleinman, so don't sweat it" Connor says with a small chuckle.

After having talked to each other for a bit longer, they decided to leave Connor's basically empty room to Jared's; though not before pocketing some weed. On their way out, Jared decided to properly introduce himself to Cynthia, though that plan was stalled as the two boys see the state she’s in. She was in tears as she blabbers on about how happy she is that Connor does have a real, genuine friend. She began to apologize for everything that happened with Evan, then Connor interrupts her.

"That's great and all, but can we talk about this later?" Cynthia nodded profusely, tears still welling up in her eyes. In turn, Connor's eyes dart around, not wanting to look at his crying mother, "Listen, I'll be back like tomorrow, maybe Monday, I don't know… I'll text you, alright?" Before he got a proper response, he turned on his heel and dragged Jared by his hand out the door.

**…**

Connor checked the time on his phone as Jared turned off their current run of Portal, “Damn it’s 4am. I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he stood up, walking past Jared.

“Clean up if you jack it dude,” Jared said, placing the controllers on their stands.

Connor shrugs off Jared’s comment, it’s not like he hasn’t said it before. Connor looks at himself in the mirror, his eyes still slightly red from the weed he had earlier and his hair a mess. He grumbled about not having a brush and ran his fingers through it in hopes of calming the monster he called his hair, he placed it in a messy bun and ran a hand over the shaved part of his head, “Ugh, need to shave it again.” Connor washed his face slightly and returned to Jared’s room.

Connor looked at the floor, where his pseudo bed usually is, “Beatrice must’ve cleaned it up while we were out,” he mumbled quietly, as Jared was out cold in his bed. “Too tired to get it all back out,” he scratched the back of his head and looked over at Jared, ”Whatever.” He climbs into Jared's bed, Jared squirms and wakes up slightly when Connor puts an arm over him, "Conn-? What are yo-?"  
"Shhh just sleep Kleinmeme," Connor slurs in response.

Jared is too tired to push Connor out of the bed, and he doesn't care much about it either.

Jared is the first to wake up, according to his alarm clock, it was 12:15pm. He felt something attached to him shuffle slightly, causing him to freeze. Connor six foot tall Murphy had his arms and legs wrapped around Jared’s torso, his head resting on the shorter teens shoulder. Jared chuckled slightly, “Heh… He’s kinda cute like this. Wait… Ew what the fuck he's drooling.” Jared pushed him to the floor.

"Kl- Jared what the _fuck_ " Connor mumbles and sits up on the floor, rubbing his head.

"You were drooling on me Murphy”

"And I was _asleep_ "

"I don't appreciate saliva on me unless it’s a girl’s on my dick"

"Jared shut up I know you're gay"

Jared went silent, he never told Connor he was gay, though Connor had taken any chance possible to inform Jared of his interest in men.

"Gaydar," Connor mumbles, noticing Jared's confusion at the statement, "It's kinda obvious you’re gay, especially with your reaction to Hansen leaving you"

"Ok well I still only allow saliva on my dick" Jared retorts, trying to keep up what walls he still has.  
"Is that an invitation Jared? ‘Cause I'm hungover enough to not give a fuck"  
Jared’s face goes bright red, he can't believe Connor just said that. Connor laughs and crawls over to the beanbags at the end of Jared’s bed, sitting in the blue, less worn one, commonly used by Evan though it's become Connor’s seat now, and grabs a controller. "Get over here so I can kick your ass at Mario Kart for the hundredth time."

Jared shuffles across his bed and gestures for Connor to give him the other controler. Little does Jared know, Connor is also red, he didn't expect to have enough confidence to just offer giving Jared head. What the fuck.

Jared doesn't move down to the red beanbag by Connor, as he’s way too flustered. After a few races Jared stands up, "I'm gonna go get some cereal, you want anything from the kitchen?" Jared didn't plan him getting up very well, as in order to get to the door, he has to walk in front of Connor; as he does so, Connor grabs one of Jared’s legs and wraps around it. Connor has no idea why he did this, he just did. "Some poptarts would be nice. But I think I finished all of those the other day."

"Uhhh yeah you did, can you let go of my leg? I'm starving.." Connor pulls him down, the smaller boy is now sitting in Connor's lap, "Food can wait," Connor slurs, still pretty tired; no wonder Jared was winning most of the races. Jared freezes when Connor places his head on Jared's shoulder, starting up a single player race.

Connor's mind is racing, he can't believe he pulled Jared into his lap, that he's playing Mario Kart while basically _cuddling with his only friend, or that Jared hasn't tried to get up, hasn't freaked out on him, or kicked him out yet._

Jared is frozen, he doesn’t know what’s going on. He watches Connor race into first place as he attempts to process the situation. He is in Connor’s lap, his only friend has pulled him into his lap. “Thank god we have clothes on,” he thinks to himself, “I don’t think I’d be conscious right now if we didn’t, or even if Con took off his hoodie or whatever.”

Connor looked at Jared out the corner of his eye and smiled softly. He nuzzled Jared slightly and mumbled under his breath,not thinking, “God you’re cute,” He froze. Holy crap did he say that out loud?

“What was that Con?” Jared asks as he turns slightly to face Connor.

Connors face is bright red, filled with concentration and has a hint of fear, "N-nothing…  Just… Pretend I didn't say anything…” Connor thinks Jared heard him, and was gonna freak.

"Murphy I really have no idea what you just said, and since you acknowledged that you said something, I’m curious." Jared turns his whole body, causing Connor to shuffle around, making him to lose a few places in the race.

"I didn't say anything Kleinman, now get back here my chest is cold," Connors face flushes, he curses to himself for not thinking through his words.

Jared doesn't move, "coooonnnnnnn, what did you sayyyyyy." his voice filled with fake whining.

Connor looks at Jared for a second before he looks back at the screen, he smiles slightly at Jared's tone, "I didn't say a damn thing Klein _meme._ "

Jared laughs quietly at the pun Connor occasionally says in place of his name, "Come on Connor you're just making me more curious… Buuuut since you're not latched onto me anymore… I'm gonna go get some cereal," he stands up, "I'll see if we have any toaster pastries in the house… I think we have toaster strudels…”

Connor reaches for Jared as he leaves the room, in hopes of getting Jared to stay just a bit longer.

When Jared gets to the kitchen, he screams as loudly as he dared then says,  "IcantbelieveConnorfuckingMurphycuddledwithmeholy _s h i t._ " He rushed to pour his cereal, a few pieces landing on the counter rather than in his bowl; he also spilled some milk to accompany said cereal. Jared looked in the freezer as he put the milk away, hoping he had something to give Connor (besides himself). He pulled out the box of toaster strudels, “Empty… Mom please throw these away when you finish them,” he mumbled as he threw the box away. He quickly scribbled _‘Toaster Strudels and/or pop tarts’_ on the grocery list before he grabbed his cereal and returned to his room.

Jared would go to his bean bag, but that would involve walking in front of Connor, not only is he too flustered to risk being in his lap again, but if Connor tried to pull him down, they would both be covered in milk. He settled on his bed.

"So," Connor starts, "do I get food or am I gonna starve?"

"Seems you get to starve for now Murphy, mom finished all our pastries, I still don't see why you like those so much… Their crap."

"They are amazing, so fuck you."

Jared doesn’t think before speaking, "I'm sure you'd love to Murphy," he shoves some cereal in his mouth once he realises in a failed attempt at calming himself down.

Connor froze and drove off the edge of the track in his current race. Jared sounded serious, surely Connor is misunderstanding him, right? _Right?_

Jared goes beat red when he realises what he said, and how seriously he said it.  
Connor turns around not bothering to pause the game, causing him to end up in last place. "Y-you didn’t mean that right? L-like… That was a joke… _Right?_ " he's staring Jared down, who has brought his knees to his chest, in any attempt to be smaller, clinging so tightly to his bowl that it might break.

"I- uh- y-yeah, haha it wa-was _totally_ a joke Con, like… why would I-I just assume y-you'd wanna fuck m-m-me?" he sets his bowl down on his night stand as he begins to shake, "Like come on Connor, look at me, I doubt anyone would willingly try to fuck me. Like… I'm ugly and idiotic, my childhood friend left me behind because of some girl," he began rambling about how he's been feeling, not bothering to hide his insecurities, "I'm pathetic, can't keep my cool when a cute guy decides to _pull me into his lap_ , made a shit ton of fake fucking emails for 20 goddamn dollars… Jesus… I-I don't know why you're friends with me Murphy…”

Connor quickly jumped onto the bed and moved next to Jared, he wasn’t exactly sure how to comfort the boy. Jared had brought up his insecurities before, though it was just an offhand comment, for some reason, these seemed to be worse.

"Jared… God… Uhh… Shit," Connor swears at himself, completely unsure what to say, "Y-your not ugly, you're actually pretty attractive. You're one of- You’re _the_ smartest person I know, Evan doesn't deserve a friend like you, nobody expects you to keep your cool if a cute person does _anything_ to them… Like… Come on Jare- Wait holy shit, you think I'm cute?" He had no idea if anything he said helped, he looked at Jared, trying to read his face, try to notice and small changes; he loses his train of thought when he (for some reason unknown) began counting Jared's freckles, noticing the size differences between each one, and the pure randomness in placement that nobody could ever recreate.

“I- y-...” Jared struggled to find words, to find his grip on reality; he plays what Connor said back through his head, "A-and y-you called me attractive…”

Connor snaps out of his trance when Jared speaks, "Oh… Uhhh… Yeah… You're definitely not bad looking… I've seen plenty of guys who look worse…” Connor mentally slaps himself, as his statement sounds more like he's insulting Jared than anything.

The two stare at each other for what seems like hours, neither sure what to say, as the Mario Kart theme plays in the background.

Connor slowly leans forward, as Jared's phone buzzes loudly. Jared immediately turns to his phone, "It's my mom, she wants a picture of the grocery list. I-I'll be back…” Jared gets up and leaves the room, silently thanking his mother for saving his life.

"God damnit Connor what are you doing," Connor mumbles to himself after Jared leaves the room. He runs a hand through his hair, dismantling the remains of the bun he still had and moves back to the game waiting for him.

Jared bangs his head on the fridge when he gets downstairs, ”Jesus christ Kleinman pull yourself together, you're a mess,” Jared snaps a picture of the grocery list and sends it to his mom, “It's not like Murphy is actually interested in you, stop fooling yourself, he’s too badass to fall for such an idiot.” Jared bangs his head against the fridge a few more times, when he notices a small note on it from his step-mom.

_Jared,_

_I had to go out on some urgent business, mom should be home later. Don't have too much fun with your friend ;)_

_But if you do, you know where everything is kept._

_Stay safe!_ _  
_ _~love mama_

Jared was already red, but somehow managed to get even redder. He crumpled up the note in his hand and threw it away, no need for it to stay on the fridge after all, Connor might see it.

He stopped by the bathroom on his way back to his room, in attempts to calm himself he splashes some water on his face. He dries himself while walking through the hall. Jared looks at Connor as he enters, Connor has since lost his jacket and what vaguely remained of his bun leaving him in a very worn black tank top and a mess of hair; he hasn't noticed Jared in the room yet, as he's pretty focused on his current race.

Jared doesn’t think his next action through, he tosses the towel into his hamper then goes to lay on his stomach on his bed, he throws his arms over Connor's shoulders which are leaning against the bedframe. Connor freezes a bit then leans into Jared, giving Jared a chance to lean his head against Connor’s; both boys are bright red and not completely sure as to what's going on.

In a all the silence Jared speaks up, ”So how are your races going? Unlock anything good yet?”

“I finally got King Boo, so we can do multiplayer with my favorite character, though I’m having trouble getting some new karts,” Connor shrugs and moves his hair, Jared leaning against him is making it slightly uncomfortable.

Jared whines a bit when Connor pulls away to put his hair back up in a bun. But forgets about his disappointment when he sees Connor’s bare arms, the slight hint of muscle along with the occasional freckle. Jared can’t express how beautiful they are.

Connor snaps his fingers in front of Jared’s face, he zoned out while Connor put his hair up and hasn’t moved for 5 minutes, Connor is worried. Jared shakes his head a bit, snapping out of his weird trance, ”Huh? What are you doing Con?”

“You spaced out for a bit, got a little worried when you didn’t latch onto me when I leaned back again,” Connor is looking at Jared, concern written all over his face; thinking maybe something was wrong. “What were you thinkin’ about anyway Kleinman?”  
Jared didn’t think before he spoke (does he ever honestly?), ”How beautiful your arms are,” his tone filled with awe, as if Connor’s arms were the best thing in the universe to him. Connor grew red and turned away from Jared, he would’ve started his game back up; but it was getting boring so he struggled to say, ”Ummm… Wanna… Play some Portal?”

Jared didn’t audibly answer, he just climbed down to the other bean bag, grabbing the controllers and switching over the system. Jared sat as far away from Connor as he could; the semi-sane part of Connor’s mind assured him that he was just flustered, but his paranoia got the best of him; causing him to believe he fucked up his only chance with Jared.

The two played in silence, having done the levels over so many times that they didn’t need to speak to each other, and could just use the in game communication. As they progressed, Jared slowly moved from the edge of his beanbag to the center, to the other end of it; seeming to just try and be closer to the other boy. Connor didn’t notice that Jared was moving until Jared’s shoulder bumped his own, he reacted on instinct and threw an arm around Jared. This time, without hesitation, Jared leaned into Connor’s touch, resting his head on Connor’s shoulder with a small smile.

They played for a few hours like that, not really moving when Jared spoke up, ”Hey Con?”

“Yeah?” Connor yawned out, he’s getting a little bored.  
“Mind if I play Saw? I love playing portal with you, but we’ve done this like… 6 times now”

Connor paused the game and stretched, ”yeah Jare, no problem, I was gettin’ kinda bored anyway.”

Jared got up from his spot on the blue bean bag to switch out the disks. When he moved back, he climbed in Connor’s lap.

“Uhhh jared?” even after what Connor would consider cuddling for a few hours, he still seemed to be caught off guard by Jared’s actions.

“More comfortable like this,” Jared explained as he shuffled around, ”You don’t mind horror games do you?”

“Dude its _Saw_ how scary can it be?”

“… good point,” Jared said as Connor wrapped his arms around him, pulling him ever so closer, and placing his head on Jared’s shoulder.

“Do you do anything besides play video games? I don’t think I’ve seen you do anything else”

“I wish I could say I did Murphy,” Jared said with fake confidence, just then there was a small knock at Jared’s bedroom door.

The boys jumped but didn’t separate, ”C-c-come in!” Jared said.  
Jared’s mom opened the door and leaned in the doorway, ”It’s almost 6 o’clock, are you two hungry?” She tried to hide the giddiness in her voice, seeing her son being close with a boy was something she hadn’t seen before, she was happy that he seemed so happy with his new “friend.”

Jared paused his game and turned to face his mom, ”Uhhh I don’t know, could you go for something Con?”

Connor turned to face Lucy, out of Jareds two moms, she looked more like her son; with her short and slightly chubby build and the immense amount of freckles across her body, Connor thought she was beautiful, I mean, who wouldn’t? “Yeah I could eat, since I didn’t exactly get breakfast this morning,” Connor gave a joking glare at Jared, earning him a small punch from the smaller teen.

Mrs. Kleinman giggled softly at her son's antics, “Will a pizza be alright? I think we still have a few coupons for the place nearby…” she trailed off, thinking on if she actually had coupons.

“Yeah Mom”

“Yeah Lucy,” the two boys spoke in unison as they turned back to their game, Lucy smiled and shut the door half way, “Jared keep your door open a bit okay? It’s rather warm in your room.”

Once Connor thought she was out of earshot he spoke up, ”You know, your mom is beautiful… You look alot like her…”

Jared blushed deeply, was this Connor’s way of complimenting him? “Y-you think so? Everyone always says I look like her but I guess I don’t see it, I guess it would make sense though, as she is my biological mom…” Jared trailed off before he started rambling.

Connor’s grip on Jared tightened and he nuzzled Jared lightly, “Yeah, similar body types, you’re both covered in these cute freckles,” Connor poked a few stray freckles on Jared’s arms, “You have her heterochromia as well, it’s adorable,” Connor started babbling a bit, he wasn’t even sure when he had gotten a good look at Lucy’s eyes, but Jared didn’t correct him, so he assumed he was correct.

Jared was at a loss with Connor’s words, he had happened to compliment most of the things Jared disliked about himself, especially his two-toned eye; he knew Connor had one as well, and Connor’s was beautiful with it’s bright blue and golden brown, but Jared’s was like vomit and mud, why would Connor think that was cute?

Connor chuckled, and Jared felt his chest move, “You’re wondering why I find these things about you cute aren't you?”

Jared could only nod, he wasn’t sure why Connor could read him so easily, usually Connor can barely tell what he’s thinking.

“Welllll,” Connor dragged out, leaning forward a bit, ”Why don’t I explain my reasonings?” Connor paused, as if he was waiting for Jared to respond, but he then continued, ”You’re short, which most people wouldn’t like in a guy but I love it. The bit of chub you have is just perfect, you’re not ridiculously thin like I am, and you’re not like… Wal-Mart shopper fat,” Connor poked Jared’s stomach a bit, Jared squirmed and suppressed a giggle. Connor laughed, ”I was going to move on to your eyes, but there's another thing, you laugh under your breath, as if laughing is a bad thing; But god if it isn’t the best laugh I’ve ever heard.”

Jared cleared his throat and tried to calm the butterflies forming in his stomach, ”S-so, what do you like about my vomit/mud eyes?” Jared couldn’t help but insult himself after Connor’s gushing, he was a bit uncomfortable, but a good kind of uncomfortable; if that even exists.

“First off, They are nowhere near vomit or mud, You’re eyes are mostly forest green, their so deep, I could get lost in them for hours, and the hint of brown? It’s like the trunks of the nearest trees, or like chocolate waterfalls flowing over green hills,” Connor has let go of Jared, moving his hands in wild gestures, trying to portray is words into something physical, “Oh and your freckles! God you have so many, I want to count every single one, find out what kind of shapes are hidden in their random patterns. I’ve never been able to recreate the randomness of a person’s freckles in a drawing, I just… Love freckles so much,” Connor didn’t realise how much he had said until he could feel the heat radiating from Jared’s face, “O-oh uh, did I say to much? God you probably think I’m a creep don’t you? We’ve only been hanging out for a few weeks and I’ve already noticed so much… Mother fu- I’ll just… Sh-shut up.”

Jared struggled to gain his composure as he paused the game and turned to face Connor, causing him to basically straddle the taller boy, “N-no, you’re fine…” Jared trailed off, looking anywhere in the room except for Connor.

Connor turns an even deeper shade of red when Jared moves, he’s unsure where to place his hands as he wants to put them on Jared’s waist, but isn’t sure if he would be allowed. “Are you sure?” Connor takes the chance and places his hands on Jared’s waist anyway.

Jared stiffens for a moment before relaxing and moving his arms to be around Connor’s neck, ”Y-yeah… I don’t see why it would be a problem, I-I mean, you're just expressing how you feel ab-about m-me…” Jared swallows the lump slowly growing in his throat, barely processing whats happening.

Their faces are just a few inches apart, Connor swears the temperature is rising. Jared attempts to access the situation, weighing his options carefully, and where each option could lead. He was about to chicken out of everything, get up and move across the room, thinking Connor was incredibly uncomfortable; when Connor kissed him.

Connor wasn’t sure what he was doing, one moment he was watching Jared think, the next his lips were pressed against his only friends own pair.

The kiss wasn’t much, nothing electrifying or jaw dropping like you see in the movies; it was sloppy, wet and just a mess in general. Of course neither boy had kissed someone before, so they thought it was amazing.

Jared was the first to pull away as he needed to breathe, he took the chance to fix his glasses; when Connor began to panic, ”O-oh my god! Fuck uh shit mother fucking god dammit.”

Jared laughed softly, ”Murphy chill out you’re fine, I don’t hate you. Jesus I’m actually kind of glad you did that, I don’t think I’d have the heart to.”

Connor looked at Jared in utter confusion, when he finally processed Jared’s words, he beamed. Jared was sure nobody had ever seen Connor this happy and couldn’t help but smile. Connor pulled Jared into a hug, Jared looked up toward his doorway, where his two mothers were watching, Beatrice was giving him a thumbs up, while Lucy seemed to be crying.

“OH MY GOD MOM, MAMA GO AWAY!”


	2. bonus: fixing an argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years into their relationship.  
> Connor and Jared had a fight... It's time to fix it.

Connor stands outside the Kleinman's house, dressed as nicely as he could, considering he hasn’t done laundry in a week. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door, he’d usually just walk in but- Well he probably doesn’t have that right anymore…

In a moment a woman as tall as Connor with a black bob answers the door, Connor finds it a bit strange that Beatrice answers the door, but Lucy is probably pampering Jared like she always does when they fight. “Connor! You got here pretty quick- Come on in, Jared is  _ very excited _ to see you…” She moves enough for Connor to enter the house.

“Yeah- I’ll be honest- I’m a bit surprised that Jared didn’t just text me himself…”

“He wanted to, but his phone died- So I had to do it for him~” Bea states with an innocent smile, “But anyway! Come on, the guest room is all set up for you two to work things out, just like it always is…” Bea heads off down the hall, Connor following close behind.

Connor looks around as they walk, it wasn’t long ago when him and Jared were living here as they saved up to buy an apartment on their own. They were so excited to have a place all their own. But of course Connor had to fuck it all up after a forced visit with his parents. Connor lost his temper after Larry was his homophobic self and Jared kept proding for information when he got home. Connor didn’t think what he said was bad enough for Jared to head to his mothers- But he didn’t really remember it that much either.

He ends up getting lost in his thoughts long enough for Beatrice to shove him into the guest room, where Jared sits on the worn down futon Connor used to use. He hears the door shut behind him before he fully processes the situation.

The two men stare at each other, Jared with malice, Connor with something akin to fear, Connor is the first to speak up, "So. How have you been?" his tone is cold and filled with anger, not wanting Jared to know how scared he really is.

"Oh I've been fucking fantastic, no problems here, I've been great without you"

Lucy almost knocks the door down, wanting to sternly remind Jared to tell the truth but Bea stops her, making them both remain outside, listening silently.

"Really Kleinman? Your tear-stained face seems to betray you" He crosses his arms, sitting then slumping in the chair across Jared. Bea was right, she cleared the room of everything except the futon and chair like she always does.

"Whatever Murphy," Jared has to hold back a smile, their conversation mirroring the one they had when they first really talked.

Connor frowned a bit and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs,"Yo-you know I didn't mean what I said right?"

"You never lie to me, Connor. If you said that then you must believe it."

Connor winced from the amount of hatred in Jareds voice, he honestly forgot what he said to him, and it seems Jared won’t even repeat it. "I-...forget it, this was a shitty idea..." He stood up and went to the door. It cracked open and the only thing visible was Beas eyes, giving Connor a glare that could help her take over the world. He froze by the door in fear.

"Nice try, but mama won't let either of us leave until we solved everything. But she should realise that this is beyond fixing." Jared rose his voice toward the end of his statement, making sure Bea could hear.

Connor clenched his fists, tears threatening to fall; he wanted to fix everything with Jared, he really did, but why did he have to make everything so difficult. "Stop lying to yourself Jared, you know we can fix this. We've made it through everything else." His voice was barely above a whisper so Jared could barely hear him.

"Excuse me Connor?!" Jared stood up, "You really fucking think I'm lying? Jesus christ your paranoia must be getting bad again if you really believe that." He choked out, not wanting to admit that Connor was most likely correct.

Connor whipped around, eyes filled with fury, "Jared what the absolute fuck?! I agreed to this because I wanted to make up, but apparently you want to be a fucking child and stay mad. I've already apologised, I've done my best to explain. I've done everything I could fucking think of to make you forgive me, I was sure when ma-Bea called me that you wanted to talk things out; I guess she acted on her own again." He turned back to the door and banged on it, "Bea let me out of here, this was a fucking horrible idea."

The door didn't budge, neither did Bea, when she said she wouldn't let either of them out, she meant it.

"God damnit Bea I know your still out there! I know you and Lucy are listening to this. I’ll jump out the fucking window if I have to." Bea still doesn’t move, she planned for this.

"The window is locked from the outside," Jared mumbled, "And we’re on the second story, I'm sure you'd rather be in here than on the ground with a broken leg."

Connor grumbled, of course Bea planned for every possibility, she always does. "Mother fucker," Connor clenched his fist and lifted his arm, preparing to punch a hole in the wall. He paused, he had been working with his therapist to be less violent, if he punched the wall know then she would never forgive him; and he didn't have the cash to fix the Kleinman's wall either, so he lowered his fist.

"Wooww Murphy, you didn't resort to violence this time. Congratulations," Jared said sarcastically with a slow clap, "Maybe you should try your breathing exercises, listen to your therapist for once; maybe then you'll start improving." Jared mentally slapped himself, he had gone to far and he knew it. "F-fucking- Con...I-"

Connor turned to Jared, tears finally falling, "Your right. I should listen to Carmen, she's a professional and has been working for two fucking years to make sure I don't hurt anyone," he leaned against the wall, sliding down it as he began to breathe slowly, "Seems I haven't made much progress since I almost punched a hole in your wall.. Heh, God- Jared you may hate me, but you can still read me like an open book… No matter how hard you try to be upset," he hit his head against the wall slightly, "I can tell you still care about me."

Jared's expression moved from anger to worry, "I- Connor.. Y-you have been improving. Hell if you weren't then I'm sure my face would be all fucked up right about now... God, uh.. Shit..." Jared tried to finish his thoughts, as they were racing and he just couldn't keep up. "I've been awful.. I- I know you were pissed about Larry, that you didn't have a proper outlet for your anger… I- fucking hell im gonna have to apologise aren't I..?"

Connor looked at Jared, he was curled on the futon, Connor was sure he felt horrible about all this, even when he did nothing wrong. He got up from the wall and walked toward the futon; it broke his heart to see Jared flinch when he noticed Connor heading toward him. Connor paused a moment before he sat down by the smaller man, "I... I think that's the best I'll get out of you" Connor said, wrapping an arm around Jared.

Jared leaned into the touch, "So can we head home now..?"

Connor chuckled, nodding slightly, "Yeah… Let’s go..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So- I wrote a majority of this like... Right after I wrote the last chapter... but am just now posting it because I actually wanna show it to people...  
> But anyway- I kept the main argument fairly vague... Since I didn't even know what they should be arguing about...

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to formally apologise for this. Since.. it's a good concept that I...probably really screwed up.. uhhh.. You can find me on tumblr? I don't really write much.. but... it's seethingballofhatered (i.. I need to learn how to use this site.. so i can like.. link my tumblr or smething...)


End file.
